DONATIONS

$0.50 from all copies sold through this website will be donated to The Humber Community YMCA in Corner Brook, NL, in support of the Strong Kids Campaign. The YMCA is a charitable organization working to provide opportunities for all to grow in spirit, mind and body.  The YMCA is one of Canada's leading charities and recognizes that many families in our community cannot do it alone. Visit www.humbercommunityymca.ca to learn more about the YMCA and it's programs, or to make a donation.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ben was born in London, Ontario, and grew up in St. Anthony, Newfoundland. He graduated from Saint Francis Xavier University in 2005 with a BSc in Nursing and worked in various hospitals throughout Nova Scotia. In 2008 he moved to the northern town of Inuvik, Northwest Territories, where he worked as an ER nurse for several years.

During his time in the north Ben became addicted to narcotics while at work. He kept his drug use hidden from everyone who knew him for over two years until 2011 when his secret was discovered. Following his arrest and the loss of his license Ben pled guilty and placed himself in a 30-day treatment program.

It was there at the Northern Addiction Center in Grande Prairie, Alberta, that he learned to speak openly and honestly about his addiction. He states, “It was my time spent here that gave me the courage to stand and address the court, my colleagues, and the community during my sentencing.”

After being sentenced to house arrest Ben was given permission to return home to Nova Scotia. While going through a divorce and losing his home he continued with his journaling which he first began while attending rehab. In 2012 he self published a book about his life.

After all three formats of his book held the top three-bestseller spots for four consecutive months on Authorhouse.com he decided to take his story on the road.

He ordered 1,500 copies, loaded them in a rental car, and left for Newfoundland. He set up at various Come Home Year events and shopping malls sharing his story to anyone interested. Six weeks later he sold out.

Several months later he attempted the same feat, only this time in Nova Scotia. With 1,500 more copies of his book he set up at various malls and craft fairs throughout Nova Scotia. In two months he sold out again.

He has recently revised his book adding over 50 images and a never-before-seen bonus chapter that gives the reader the feeling as though he/she were alongside him during his first book tour.

Ben has recently ordered 3,000 copies of this new revised edition, and all copies ordered through his new website www.bencox.ca will be hand signed by the author. 

Ben currently resides in Corner Brook, Newfoundland, and sells his book full-time. He is also frequenty invited as a guest speaker to share his story at various events and conferences. 

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“My name is Ben and I need to tell my story. I am not perfect, far from it. I have been pretending to be content with my life for so long that I have forgotten what it feels like to really feel happy. I violated my self- integrity so many times that I lost any self-worth I had. I needed help, needed to talk to someone, anyone. But I couldn't. I would lose everything I had worked so hard for, my marriage, my career, my freedom, everything.

I was a respected RN who worked in the isolated town of Inuvik, NT, and was seen as a caring, trusted, reliable, competent nurse and worked in the ER for almost 4 years. I am a loving father of a beautiful little girl and husband to a wonderful woman who I have never been in love with but have never had the courage to tell her. I have been using and addicted to narcotics for over two years, of which I had unlimited access to them. I know I am not well and need help, but I can’t ask for it. Weeks turn into months, months into years, and no one ever notices.

And then it happens. I am caught. I am arrested and charged. I lose my license to practice. I tell my wife I am not happy with our marriage. I attend a 30day treatment program for professionals with addiction where I learn to stop helping others and start to help myself.

I start to journal and remember how much I used to enjoy writing. I fly back to Inuvik to face the consequences of my actions and show my true character before the community, the hospital and the judge. I need them to see who I really am. I don't want to be defined by this one mistake, but rather by how I have dealt with it.

This makes me feel proud. I am asked to sit as the judge is going to make a decision as to what my sentence will be. I tell him I would rather stand and I hold my head high. I am ready. I am an addict. I am a good father. I am no longer a nurse. I am just a man, whose darkest secrets are there for all to see. I look at my Mother who is crying and flew up north to be with me. I whisper to her "I love you; I'm sorry". I face the judge. I am at peace. I am just a man. I am ready. This is my story.

I could not have ever talked about this before, without going to the treatment program and learning to talk about my feelings and my mistakes. Facing the community, the hospital, and telling others about the terrible mistakes I have made has been the hardest thing I have ever done. It has also been the most rewarding and I have found that most people can relate to something from my story as we are all imperfect to some degree. We are all human.

I was so good at helping others that I began to ignore myself. This caused me to do things out of context with my moral beliefs but I couldn’t stop because it made me forget that I was so unhappy. This can't be allowed to happen again.

Talk to someone. Be honest with yourself and you will start to respect yourself for it. Once you obtain that, everything else will fall into place. One day at a time.”